Prelude: Bishop Anderson and Mrs. Eboni have been seeing one another since last Christmas. They’ve been keeping it a secret. Bishop Anderson wants to let everyone know about their relationship, but Eboni doesn’t feel like it’s the right time. Frank is getting up early to play a round of golf with some friends, when he surprises Eboni and the Bishop.

Lights up: Bishop Anderson and Mrs. Eboni are standing in the living room. Bishop Anderson is trying to convince Eboni that it’s time to tell the families about their relationship.

Bishop Anderson (Clarence): Eboni, I think it’s time we tell the families about us. It’s been almost a year now.

Mrs. Eboni: It still isn’t the right time, Clarence. I’m just not ready to tell Jessica about us. I really don’t know how she’s going to take it.

Clarence: Eventually someone is going to figure us out. You know how church people can be when they find out something that was supposed to be private.

Eboni: Yes, I do, but we’re not doing anything wrong, Clarence. We’ve honored God in every way since we started seeing each other.

Clarence: And that’s one of the reasons why I love you so much. When my wife Veronica died three years ago, I really felt alone. Two years later, when I did start the dating process again, believe it or not, women would actually throw themselves at me, and this would happen on the first date.

Eboni: Who were these women?

Clarence: That’s not important, Eboni.

Eboni: I know who one of them was anyway. That fast-behind Sis McDaniel’s. She’s always up in your face.
[Eboni mimics Sis McDaniel’s.]
“What do you think about this, Bishop? How does this look, Bishop? I can do that for you, Bishop.” Get’s on my nerves.

Clarence: See, there you go. It wasn’t her. It isn’t anyone that’s still a member of the congregation.

Eboni: Yeah right. It doesn’t matter though. That’s what I love about you. So many preachers that reach your stature fall to the temptation of these young girls, but in all my years of attending the church, I have never heard anything about you sleeping around.

[Eboni leads Clarence over to the door.]

Clarence: That’s the main reason why I don’t want this to come out on its own. I don’t want to dishonor you with gossip.

Eboni: I understand, Clarence. It’s just that Jessica’s getting married here soon, and I don’t want to interfere with her happiness. You know how we women like for our time to shine to be our time only.

Clarence: Oh, I know that. Well, let me get out of here before anyone gets up.

[Frank enters stage right wearing crazy golf attire.]

Frank: (Smiling.) Well, I think it’s a little too late for that.

Clarence: (Trying to fake Frank out.) Well, good morning, Mrs. Eboni. Are you going to invite me in?

Eboni: Yes, Bishop. Come on in. I’m so glad that you could make it this early in the morning.

Frank: Don’t even try it.

Clarence: What are you talking about, Frank?

Frank: All I want to know is . . . did you bring the anointing oil or the baby oil?

Eboni: Frank, I will not allow you to talk to the Bishop that way. Now you apologize.

Frank: [laughs.] Bishop knows that I didn’t mean any disrespect.

Clarence: It’s all right, Eboni. Frank didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just Frank being Frank.

Eboni: He should still respect you. What are you doing here anyway Frank?

Clarence: It’s no problem, Eboni. I need to get out of here now before anybody else wakes up.

Frank: I left my golf shoes and hat here.

[Jessica enters stage right wearing a jogging outfit.]

Jessica: What’s going on out here, Momma?

[Everyone looks at each other for about 3 seconds.]

Frank: Bishop, I sure do appreciate you getting up so early in the morning to give me your nine iron and your putter. I don’t know if it’s going to help my game any, but I sure do appreciate it.

[After a couple seconds of silence, Eboni bumps Bishop Anderson.]

Bishop Anderson: Oh, no problem, Frank. Just whenever you get done with them will be fine.

Frank: Bishop . . . I did say, “giving me” your clubs, not borrowing them.

Eboni: Frank!

Frank: What? That’s what I said though.

Bishop Anderson: It’s okay, Eboni. I have some extra clubs.

Frank: Well, I want the ones you use. Come on, Bishop, let me take a look at these clubs you have.

[Frank starts walking to the door and exits stage left.]

Bishop Anderson: By all means, Frank. Mrs. Eboni, Ms. Jessica, you both have a wonderful day.

[The Bishop prepares to exit.]

Eboni: Bishop! [Eboni walks over to the door.] Please don’t forget to call me about the . . . the . . . [Eboni’s thinking of something to say.] rescheduling of the hospitality meeting.

Bishop Anderson: (Confused) The hospitality meeting?

Eboni: [makes a face that only the Bishop can see.] Yeah. The hospitality meeting?

Bishop Anderson: . . .Oh! That hospitality meeting. Okay. Yeah, I’ll make sure I don’t forget. See you all later.

[Bishop Anderson exits stage left.]

Eboni: That Bishop Anderson is so forgetful.

Jessica: Did you say please give me a call, Momma?

Eboni: What? Child that was nothing. I’m just trying to make sure there’s no conflict in the schedule. Do you want some breakfast?

Jessica: I know, Momma. No conflict in the scheduling.

Eboni: I said do you want some breakfast, child?

Jessica: No, ma’am. You know my wedding is in two months. I need to lose about fifteen more pounds in those two months.